


Her, Him, They

by KuraiTsuky



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Mentions of homophobia, NO Kaguya either, NO Madara!, Rating May Change, Rule 63, Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, War, Women Being Awesome, it doesn't, mentions of bullying, mentions of discrimination, you would think this makes it a better world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-03-28 18:43:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3865594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuraiTsuky/pseuds/KuraiTsuky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obito and Kakashi, two sides of the same coin, born for war and for greatness. They fight and they grow and they love. They fight for Konoha and for a better world, they fight for a love that was and for the hope of a love that might be.<br/>This is how it happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Her

**Author's Note:**

> To my lovely proof reader Aya, who suffered my ramblings throughout the writting process and hopefully will do so again in the future. 
> 
> _ _ _  
> About the story itself, there will be no Rin-bashing, Rin simply doesn't see Obito with romantic eyes but she is as in the Manga her only real friend. I see no sense in criticise her for not loving Obito, it is not an obligation to love anybody and from my point of view it sends the wrong message. Girls don't have to love anyone back and they are most certainly not bitches for only seeing someone as a friend.  
> Tha said, Rin is just that, Obito's friend at every turn, and whether she is aware of Obito's feelings or not doesn't diminish in their friendship.  
> Also, I didn't change Obito's name because I couldn't come up with an awesome feminization of his (her) name.  
> _ _ _  
> 

 

* * *

 

Obito hates Kakashi.

That is one of the undeniable truths of the universe.

 

At eleven, she hates him because he’s a handsome jerk –not that she’s ever seen his face, but figures- and a genius, and never, ever spares a glance for her. She is thankful, even if she won’t admit it under torture, that he treats her as a shinobi and not as a _girl,_ but evenif he helped her get up the other day after he kicked her ass and it was nice –she won’t admit that either- Obito still hates the way he always wins at _everything_ and looks at her after, like he’s so much better and her worth is at the level of an insect.

It is the same look everyone else shoots at her and it shouldn’t bother her as much as it does, even if he’s her team mate and they should be friends. But her only real friend is Rin. The only one who doesn’t make her feel like she’s a waste of space. Rin, who is really nice, and pretty and feminine and all those things Obito doesn’t manage to be and also competent as a Kunoichi something that isn’t Obito’s strong point either.

Obito doesn’t sleep for two nights strait –she’s especially clumsy the following mornings at training much to her dismay- when she realizes that she loves Rin. Another girl. After that she is not capable to look at her in the eye for a while, feeling like the whole world will _know_ if she does. On the following week she underperforms more than usual and trips over herself when Rin touches her under the ever disapproving look of Kakashi, until one day after yet another disastrous training session, Minato-sensei asks her to stay.

For a moment, Obito panics thinking he’s going to send her back to the academy despite having passed the test, and what face would Kakashi and Rin make. But Minato-sensei smiles at her, sits her down and starts talking about things that make both of them blush. When they finish, Obito doesn’t feel as awkward, she is not ashamed either, but the most important thing she gets out of it is that even if the clan doesn’t understand her, there’s Minato-sensei, who says he is proud of the woman she’s turning into and who doesn’t look at her different even if she likes another girl. The next morning she makes lunch for two and Rin and her laugh as they eat. Obito feels butterflies on her stomach and it isn’t just because she did fairly well today.

 

At thirteen Kannabi Bridge happens, the proof that in the shinobi world if something has to go wrong it does so with a big Bang.

The mission starts as usual, the four of them as a team like they have to be, but as soon as Minato –sensei goes away and puts Kakashi in charge everything goes downhill from there. Kakashi proves once again that he’s an egocentric little bastard, Rin gets captured and Obito, well, Obito might still not be a genius, but apparently she’s the last decent shinobi in her team.

“Those who break the rules are trash, those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash” she says harshly and wills the tears not to fall, Kakashi doesn’t deserve them and if he won’t help Rin, she will. When she’s about to die, Kakashi appears out of nowhere, Obito has never been happier to see him, just a second later his eye is slashed and her Sharingan awakens. They rescue Rin quite easily and for a moment, Obito thinks this mission is the best thing that could have happened to her. Then, Kakashi falls to his knees and the cave comes down on top of them.

Obito pushes him away and closes her eyes waiting for the rocks to crush her. In the last minute though, a rough hand closes around her wrist and drags her out of the way. Her leg is crushed, and it hurts, it hurts like hell, but she’s alive somehow. Obito, for once ignoring Rin’s fussing over her injury looks up and her sharingan meet Kakashi’s dark eye. Obito looks at Kakashi with something close to awe, in that moment, he looks strong and powerful, every bit the shinobi they all three are supposed to be. He looks even stronger than Minato-sensei and Obito feels warmth spreading from where Kakashi grabbed her, and the need to hug him and maybe do something else. That is, until he opens his mouth and ruins everything.

“Are you OK, crybaby?” with those words, Obito dismisses the strange feeling on her insides because yes, he’s her usual jerk of a team mate.

“Less so now you opened your mouth, Shorty” she answers with something akin to rage –because why does he have to be such an asshole when she was starting to like him- getting up –leaning on Rin- and holding over him the good two inches she’s got on him.

 

When they get back to Konoha, Obito who is half unconscious is rushed to the hospital. Her right leg from the knee down is completely crushed, and her femur is broken in two places. Her right arm is also broken from the debris and she has a sprain on her left ankle. When she wakes up, her right leg is gone. Minato –sensei explains that the medics couldn’t heal her and that she’ll have implanted a prosthetic when her thigh heals. She cries herself to sleep that night, wrapped in bandages and feeling like dying would have been better. Now without the adrenaline rush, everything hurts and she can’t even begin to think on how she’s going to be a shinobi now that she’s lacking in the only thing she had. The next morning she wakes up with puffy eyes and the look of pity in the nurse’s eyes is enough to make her cry again.

The next months are hell. When her bones finaly knit, Obito is happy to get out of bed the time it takes for her to star rehabilitation. Something as easy as walking has become a torture. After every session she feels like puking, in fact she does so for the first week, and is so tired they have to carry her back to her room. No one from the Clan has come to visit her, even when she has the Sharingan now. Obito is grateful.

Rin comes though, occasionally with Kakashi in tow. They –or rather Rin- ask how she is and bring her candy. She accepts it but puts it away when they –she- don’t watch. Even the candy tastes bitter now.

She turns fourteen still in the hospital. She’s had the prosthetic for three months now and still can’t put her whole weight on it. Minato –sensei, his girlfriend Kushina –san and Rin come to her room with a cake, surprisingly, Kakashi arrives late and gives her a small box wrapped in orange giftwrap. She smiles and takes it, but doesn’t open it yet. They eat the cake and joke and pretend everything is all right even if it isn’t, and Obito is grateful no one asks about her recovery or her leg. They even pretend that her dream of being the first female Hokage is not done for now, it’s refreshing and painful all at once. Obito is used to the pain by now though.

She starts to dozen out at some point and they go, the last ones are Minato –sensei who tucks her in and Kushina –san who kisses her forehead and bids her a good night. Before she falls asleep, Obito thinks that that must be what is like to have parents.

For two weeks after that she almost doesn’t see them, they are preparing for a mission she understands, but understanding doesn’t make it any easier. It hurts that they don’t have the time for her –especially since she doesn’t have anyone else- but what hurts the most is that she cannot go with them. The day before, Rin comes alone. Her smile betrays her feelings, she’s happy to see her, but Obito knows she is happier for spending so much time alone with Kakashi, she doesn’t comment though, if Rin didn’t look at her before how would she do it now.

They go the next morning, Obito is not able to go to the door to say goodbye, but she thinks of them. She’s not worried, Kakashi will protect Rin, she didn’t need the medic Nin to remind her.

As she thinks of them, Obito toys with the orange wrapped box that still hasn’t open, and wonders.

 

At fifteen Obito stops crying.

When Rin dies the world just breaks, it breaks and freezes and somehow doesn’t matter anymore. Kakashi comes back, and Obito doesn’t know if she should hate him for surviving or hug him for not dying. Most of the days she just hates herself, for being weak, and useless, if she hadn’t been she would have been there, helping, instead of laying on a hospital bed unable to move. As the weeks pass and the grief settles, she hates Kakashi again, not for surviving –deep down she’s happy he did- but for not saving Rin. He is the damned genius, the ninja who at thirteen gave nightmares to the enemies of Konoha. If he could save her why couldn’t he do the same for Rin?

The day of the funeral, Obito limps out of the hospital ignoring Kakashi who for some reason is waiting for her. She tries not to cry in front of him but as they enter the cemetery she just can’t help it, thankfully Minato-sensei is there and Kushina-san steps aside so he can hold her.

She cries her heart out in the arms of Minato –sensei who _understands_ and doesn’t _judge_ her, and hates Kakashi all the more because he could have had Rin and just didn’t want to when Obito has spent all her life trying to be noticed by her, finally becoming a friend only to discover that the next thing she could aspire to be was a _sister_.

At fifteen Obito stops crying, after the funeral she doesn’t have any tears left.

 

Obito makes Jounin a year after Kakashi gets in ANBU. She’s proud that she manages even with the prosthetics, it still feels kind of awkward but in a fight she can use it as if it were her own leg and the shuriken compartment inside has come in handy many times. Her sharingan is still nothing special, she doesn’t have the awesome technics some of her clansmen do, but she can read movements and copy jutsus in a blink and soon she has her own name, Copy Nin Obito. It’s refreshing that no one calls her Uchiha anymore, is a relief not having to stand up to anyone’s expectations.

The Clan respects her, they don’t have another option, but now she is the one who doesn’t want anything to do with them. Obito realized a few days after Rin’s death that she didn’t care anymore about what the world thought of her, it was weird realizing that everything she had strived for didn’t matter. Rin was dead, Kakashi was an ANBU and Minato –sensei was Hokage. They all had left her behind –some in a more permanent way than others- so Obito could either stay behind or carve her own path.

With the Jounin certificate in hand, Obito feels like she’s finaly managed to become the Kunoichi she always wanted to be.

Her leg feels stiff for overuse, but she still pushes herself to get to the graveyard, she has to tell Rin after all. Just as she enters, a mop of silver hair enters her line of vision only to disappear again behind her. It’s Kakashi –of course it’s him as if anyone else in Konohagakure had that ridiculous hair- and it hurts more than it should that he doesn’t say anything. They don’t talk anymore, any news of him are through Minato –sensei and only when they are not classified. She guesses it is the same for him if he ever even asks about her. Swallowing the lump on her throat, Obito walks up to Rin’s tombstone and shows her the title. For a while she babbles about her achievements all the while pretending they don’t feel empty without her here to see them.

She is powerful now, that’s true, but as always, she has come to power too late. After a while, when the guilt –that is never, never gone- doesn’t crush her, she goes back to her empty apartment and starts preparing for a mission. Tomorrow she will lead men into battle for the first time.

Obito barely sleeps that night, terrified of her new responsibilities; she wonders if Kakashi felt this the first time he took command. Obeying is just so much easier…

But Minato –sensei thinks she is ready and even if she isn’t Konoha needs her and that is enough. It has to be.

 

The war ends when she’s seventeen. It’s kind of anticlimactic really, no great battles or heroes or deeds to be sung, but Obito has long since learned that there is nothing heroic in war. Konoha’s victory catches her on the battlefield, clutching a bloodied kunai in one hand and the head of an enemy in the other. The order to stop saves his life but doesn’t erase the look of hatred and fear in his eyes when he looks at her. Obito pities him; a raw Chuunin kicked into war to fill the places of much more powerful shinobi that nevertheless have fallen to her. She was like that once, not so long ago, but in these two years, Obito has grown into her body, lean with muscle, petite breasts and rounded hips covered in scars, every bit a Kunoichi, every bit a woman who has seen too much.

She lets the sharingan fade from her eyes and retires with what’s left of her platoon. Finally they are going home, they have won, but somehow that doesn’t make her feel any happier. Too many lost to a war that no one remembers why it started. Obito guesses she should be proud, she left Konoha as more less a pariah and now returns as a heroine. But she doesn’t feel heroic in the slightest and yes, she returns, she goes back to an empty apartment, a village in which there is no one waiting for her.

Konoha looks worn, just like Minato –sensei, just like her. Obito submits her latest report and asks to be let go. Her Hokage understands, as always, and allows her. When she leaves with her meager possessions next morning, there is nobody to say goodbye.

 

The world is more beautiful than she remembered, the pain less heavy. Obito runs around, and explores and sometimes even forgets to send reports back to Konoha taken with her newfound freedom as she is. Peace is odd, she decides, and for the first months she is unable to shake the suspicion, the feeling that something terrible is about to happen. It doesn’t, and by the time two years have passed, she is used to the tranquility.

Then she starts to make her way back and sets foot in Amegakure.

Ame reminds her just how ugly the world can be. Two days in, and Obito finds herself in what obviously was a battlefield, blooded earth and rotting corpses all over each other, the stench of death heavy in the air. She is used to it, that doesn’t make it any easier. Amegakure is worse than the war she fought in and Obito feels guilty, because they used its fields –the shinobi from the “great” villages- for their wars, they used their land and their people and when they didn’t need them anymore they left them broken. For the first time in her life, Obito feels ashamed of being a shinobi from Konoha.

It feels almost like a reversion, really, she spends the next months helping old ladies, and little snot nosed brats and it is the first time since the academy that she feels like being a Kunoichi is something good, more than tools she thinks as she helps and old couple fend off a bunch of thieves, more than shadows, she thinks fighting side by side with a redheaded man in front of ruined down house in which tree little children hide.

Amegakure is in the end her salvation. The man, panting heavily after the fight, looks at her warily. He’s dressed in a ridiculous black cloak with red clouds that really clashes with his hair –the same color of Kushina –san’s- but despite appearances, he’s smart enough to recognize her strength and offers to introduce her to his leader. Obito is not sure why she accepts but the presence of the tall man with orange hair reminds her of Minato –sensei, and she stays. Two weeks later, she puts on the Akatsuki cloak and somehow it feels right, more so than the Konoha uniform ever did, and when she leaves in her first mission, the hitai-ate from the leaf is left behind.

 

For a year, she fights and kills for a village that is not hers and yet feels like her responsibility. Her newfound qualities as a tactician prove to be invaluable for the organization. Whenever they manage a hit against Hanzo, Obito thinks Rin would be proud, because every victory of the Akatsuki is a victory for the people of Ame. She is still not used to the eye catching orange mask, it is needed though, to protect her from the consequences of her own actions.

Her enthusiasm starts to wear off though, Obito knows she’s acting for the right reasons, but war is war. The tides start to turn, but it’s at the expense of her comrades. The Akatsuki suffers as many loses as it provokes and although there is always willing volunteers their numbers are dwindling. She is not made for war; Obito decides looking upon the field she has scattered with corpses. She looks up at Konan on her knees and Hanzo behind her, Nagato and Yahiko both look at her, she is the tactician the one that has to get them out of this mess but their companions are not arriving and what she has to do is ugly. Obito really hopes Rin is not watching right now.

“Go ahead, kill her.” She says with icy voice “we are fighting for the sake of a whole village; all of us are prepared to lay down our lives for that purpose” behind her Yahiko protests while Nagato doesn’t seem to believe his ears but just when she is turning to talk to their Leader to try and make him _understand_ , there is a sound of birds and a hand warped in blue Chakra pops from his chest. Obito doesn’t hear Konan’s scream or Nagato’s raging howl, her eyes are fixated in that impersonal white mask –a dog laughing- and the mop of silver hair that shoots out of it.

 

The ever present rain washes away some of the blood –Yahiko’s blood- that coats her mask. Obito still hasn’t moved, even as the battlefield spins and blurs around her. She can’t believe what she’s seeing, it is the first time she doubts her sharingan, because that man that attacks and attacks and _attacks_ relentlessly and without hesitation can’t be Kakashi. Kakashi who has just killed one of the best men she has ever known –one she was proud to serve under- without so much of a blink.

He must be the reason why reinforcements haven’t arrived, her mind unhelpfully supplies, and she wonders what could have made Minato –sensei turn to Ame, but then dismisses it because even as a Hokage Minato –sensei could have never sided with Hanzo, not the man who tucked her in and gave her advice on her own sexuality. But the doubt is still there, even as she snaps out of the haze and rises to confront her former teammate, because if Kakashi can be this cold, cruel shell of a man then maybe the Yellow Flash isn’t any different. They fight and Obito can barely keep up, even with her sharingan and it feels familiar, except that they are not sparring. He kicks her and she can hear her ribs cracking, the landing a few meters away isn’t any better.

She stays down for a moment assessing the situation, Hanzo is retiring, Nagato finishing off his guards, Konan dead or badly injured if the blood is anything to go by and Kakashi… He is lunging like a madman to the redhead’s turned back, Obito is not going to make it in time, her sunshin is average at best. But somehow she is suddenly there, her head in the way of his hand. Her mask breaks as she barely manages to avoid the chidori. He freezes his eyes going wide under his own mask, Obit has no time to spare so she knees him and then shoves him away with a kick to the chin, the porcelain coverage flies through the air and shatters.

Time stops, the minutes drag on as hours. Kakashi stands slowly, eyes cringing with fury and doubt. Obito can only hear their heavy breathes “I’ll take care of this” she barely manages over her shoulder for Nagato. Kakashi frown deepens even more at her words. She opens her mouth to talk, to try and explain because she used to know this boy, she used to know how to reach him –even if she never managed it as well as Rin- how to make him stop. Before she can even try, Kakashi snarls and jumps against her with his chidori ready to impale her. In that split second, Obito manages to realize that she _used_ to know him but now she can barely recognize the man Kakashi has turned into.

She is disappointed, vaguely guilty too, but most of all she is furious, because this is her friend, her jerk of a teammate, and she is going to _murder_ whoever turned him into this. Her sharingan burns, the world spirals out of control and Kakashi disappears.

 

She is twenty one when she crosses the gates of Konoha again, the guards don’t recognize her. The lack of ANBU out for her blood indicates that for some reason Kakashi hasn’t informed of her involvement in Ame, she wonders why. She doesn’t bother changing from her travel clothes, she has taken the precaution of hiding her Akatsuki cloak because she can’t simply throw it away –she owns them that much- so her simple pants and shirt look boringly inconspicuous. Thinking of Amegakure is still bittersweet. Leaving had been easier than she thought after Nagato got his revenge. She understands, she really does, but she cannot condone. Enemies are enemies but children are children. Obito has waited until Konan recovered to leave, an eternal friend of Ame they had said but they are going to isolate the village and friend or foe she will never see it again. Konoha will have to do.

Obito goes directly to the Hokage’s Tower. There’s a ruckus when she enters the office and before she can blink she’s wrapped in a bear hug, the only think she can see a long red mane. After Kushina –san liberates her –and boy doesn’t that take time- it’s Minato –sensei’s turn. Surrounded by the closest thing she has to parents Obito feels finaly at peace. War and all, loses and all, it’s good to be home.

Obito wanders around getting reacquainted with the village, not everything is how she remembers but most of it just happens to be better. It’s funny though that not even her classmates seem to recognize her, she wonders if she’s really changed so much. Not wanting to retire too soon, her steps take her to the forest that surround Konoha –she’ll be staying at her sensei’s place for now, and she really is looking forward to meet Naruto, but her spirit needs some calm and god knows that is impossible in a house inhabited by two Uzumaki-

She is admiring the old trees she so has missed when a strong hand closes around the collar of her shirt and pushes against one of those very trees. She doesn’t need to look up to know just who dares.

“Kakashi” she breathes and for some reason it comes out much more like a sigh than the angry snarl she was aiming for. His eyes are unyielding, yet somehow softer than the last time she saw them –as she dumped him across the border from her Kamui dimension- but his hand doesn’t ease its hold. Obito can feel the heat that spreads from his body, they are far too close. She wants to say something, anything to break the uncomfortable silence but he’s –as usual- faster.

“Those who break the rules are trash but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash” his voice is rough and she listens dumbfounded hearing her own words turned against her as he keeps on talking “are you trash Obito?” What kind of question is that she thinks, and then she remembers how she kind of abandoned him to wallow in her own pain, and that she definitely broke the rules quite a few times and looks away unable to maintain eye contact.

“Maybe” she whispers and gets a hold of his shirt too pulling even closer “I did what I thought what was best though, for this world and for Konoha. But…but I’m sorry I left you behind, I’m sorry I dumped you like that. But just so we’re clear I would die a thousand times over rather than betray Konoha” she ends fiercely. Kakashi doesn’t seem affected.

“You are going to tell me everything about Amegakure if you don’t want the Hokage and the Council to know” he says evenly, like he isn’t just holding her life in his hands. So she does, she spills the beans and prays that the Kakashi she knew is still there somewhere and won’t go around telling –who is she kidding, the Kakashi she knew would tell so she should probably start preparing her escape-

“So you are right, I am trash” Obito finishes, her eyes closed, almost waiting for the chidori to pierce her chest. Instead Kakashi presses his body against hers until there is no space between them and lets his head lean on her hair. They stand in that awkward embrace for a moment, Kakashi then steps away with what seems like a smile and declares “Good, because I am trash too” before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

She stands there, supported solely by the tree realizing her breath is ragged, she is blushing and her body feels overheated. Obito swallows the lump on her throat she didn’t know she had and slips to the ground. She has long since come to terms with her sexuality with the help of some very nice, very helpful girls and some less helpful but still nice boys. Kakashi though, is still somehow a sore point she’d rather not explore.

 

Now that she’s back, they see each other regularly. It’s a bit of a surprise at first; Obito still remembers how they never ran into each other before she left. But then again, they usually meet at Minato –sensei’s for dinner since apparently Kakashi can’t cook to save his life and she cannot find a new apartment. They don’t meet every time though, Kakashi is still in ANBU and after a while she is cleared by the doctors and starts taking missions again, but today is one of those days and before she enters her sensei’s house, Obito feels a tingle up her spine she cannot explain.

“I come bearing gifts” she says as the door opens and looks up expecting to see Minato –sensei or Kushina –san, instead she finds Kakashi and promptly forgets how to speak. They stand there looking at each other for what it seems like hours until a bolt of yellow collides against her legs. Naruto has obviously heard about the gifts and is impatient to see what she got him and apparently she has been spoiling him because he now expects them after every mission. As soon as she enters –still with Naruto’s little body attached to her prosthetic- the smell of Kushina –san’s excellent cooking receives her making her mouth water. They eat between jokes, picking on Minato –sensei and somehow Kakashi manages, as he’s done in all the other occasions, to keep his face covered every time she peeks with the hope of seeing how he looks.

It is at one of those times when they eyes lock -his bright with amusement- that Obito knows he’s baiting her. She manages to keep her eyes away from him the whole night yet it feels like _his_ victory. Funnily enough, his jerk attitude only makes her feel more at home, with time Kakashi is becoming more and more like she hoped he would be when he was a midget with ludicrous ideas about the rules –Because she was _taller_ , even if he now towers over her- Except for the porn that is, and hadn’t that been a surprise. She is still sure that there isn’t a rule condoning the reading of porn in public and Obito takes any chance she has to tease him about it. She wonders though, if the suggestive look she gets every time she brings the subject means what she thinks it means.

Obito helps clean the plates and after, she goes up to the roof. In clear nights like this she enjoys the sky, the freedom and revels in the calmness after some ten years of fighting. The roof is not empty; Kakashi is laying there with a lazy expression and doesn’t even look when she sits down next to him. They remain in silence for a while until Obito feels him closing the space that divides them.

“I was waiting for you” Kakashi speaks almost in her ear and his voice sounds husky, it makes her shiver. She wants to talk but again cannot find the words; there is no need for them. A strong hand –unfairly warm given the weather- grasps her chin and makes her look into those bright black eyes –so alike is hard to tell one of them is transplanted- that seem ready to devour her. Kakashi pulls closer and closer and Obito closes her eyes instinctively when his lips, warm and surprisingly soft land on hers. Lips on lips, tongue on tongue, the kiss is hot, wet, Obito’s arms circle Kakashi’s neck as he pulls her down against the wood, his muscled chest pressed against her breasts, his hands on her hips and her fingers fisting his hair.

When they part, Obito is breathless. She opens her eyes just as Kakashi finishes pulling up the mask, and can’t help to be annoyed. ‘The bastard’ she thinks and frowns at his satisfied look. They eye each other and Obito realizes he is just as clueless as to what to say or do now as she is; it’s as relieving as it is frustrating. But just as they ponder, their hands unite again –Obito is not sure who initiates the contact but she’s not about to complain- and she realizes that yes, they can sort things out later. She wonders once more if Rin is seeing this, if she is glad for her and for once her memory doesn’t hurt as much. She still loves Rin, she will probably do it as long as she lives, but the burden has finally eased. She smiles at Kakashi feeling happier that she has felt in a long time and finds that he is doing the same.

Obito looks at Kakashi smiling just for her and wonders when exactly she fell in love with him.

 

Obito loves Kakashi.

That is one of the undeniable truths of the Universe.

 

At age twenty three, she can safely say that she loves that handsome jerk –not that she’s ever seen his face _yet_ \- that perverted genius that always, _always_ has a kind glance and a smile just for her.

 


	2. Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Kakashi has the emotional maturity of a teaspoon.  
> Also, I wanted to make this one a bit shorter than the last one, somehow this happened instead.  
> Enjoy!

## 

Kakashi has been infatuated with Uchiha Obito since he can remember.

 

He sees her for the first time when they are five, in the academy. Obito is not like the other girls, she’s not cute or timid and she doesn’t blush when he looks at boys and she most certainly doesn’t blush when she looks at _him_ –which is far less often than Kakashi would want-

Obito is loud, she yells and proclaims things for the whole world to hear and she picks up fights with _everything_. She’s different than anyone else Kakashi has ever met. She’s like a hurricane that sweeps Kakashi’s world and turns it upside down.  His father –that fucking _coward_ \- kills himself next month and Kakashi resolves to forget about Obito to concentrate on his training. He never quite manages. His training pays off though, and he graduates at the end of the course at the top of his class. Obito doesn’t. And as he is hailed as the genius of his generation –and for once the whispers behind his back are of awe and not to shame him- he wonders how long it’ll take her to catch up. Being an Uchiha shouldn’t be too long, and despite all the compromises he has made to himself, he is pleased with the idea of working with her soon.

Soon doesn’t happen. And eventually Kakashi gets used to his eyes wandering towards any and every head crowned by messy black hair –when he has time off, of course, because he’s a shinobi and shinobi don’t waste their active time _longing_ -

Minato –sensei, the Jounin assigned to supervise him is okay he guesses, a bit too cheery for his tastes but he’s his superior so Kakashi doesn’t comment when the other ruffles his hair or insists on taking him out to eat. Minato –sensei is a genius too so he understands better than most, he is also a good teacher and Kakashi manages to become a chuunin a year after graduating. Again the whispers follow him –he’s used to them by now- and when some of his old academy class mates come to congratulate him, he sees her again. The girls blush and chatter as usual all but Obito, who looks at him from behind a brunette girl with purple clan marks whose name he can’t remember and that when he approaches shoots him a dark look and runs away.

Kakashi would follow, but he’s too shocked to move.

 

Being a chuunin Kakashi spends less and less time on the Village, Konoha is at war and every able body is needed to win. That is why when Minato –sensei tells him that their two-man team is going to have two more members - _genin_ on top of that- he is pissed like he hasn’t been in ages. Those are the rules, he repeats in his head over and over in his head as he waits for his new teammates, it doesn’t calm him.

A girl with purple clan marks who is vaguely familiar appears first, he can hear her two minutes before she arrives and smells the floral perfume of her shampoo even before. She stops in front of him and blushes, Kakashi can’t barely keep himself from rolling his eyes –the only reason he doesn’t do it is that Minato –sensei is there and he would probably scold him- Together they wait for the third member who doesn’t appear –and just what kind of shinobi arrives late to an appointment- and as they wait, they start the presentations. The girl’s name is Rin and by the way she behaves in his presence, Kakashi can safely say that she’s completely useless. Her name wakes some long forgotten memory and he realizes she was the girl Obito hide behind the day he became chuunin. He’s tempted to ask about her, but thinks again, if it has taken this Rin so long to graduate it means she’s not especially bright, an Uchiha wouldn’t keep in contact with such a weakling. Obito surely is being trained by her clan as it is custom.

He listens for steps, but they don’t come, so they wait and wait, Kakashi angrier by the second at the blatant disregard of this genin –whoever the hell he is- for the shinobi code and proper manners. Finaly, an overly sweet smell, like caramel or honey, reaches his nose followed by ragged breaths. Kakashi can’t believe his eyes, he registers the face, the gigantic smile, the messy black hair, but his mind cannot process it. He stares in disbelief and barely can make sense of the words that compose the most ridiculous excuse he’s ever heard. Obito is in his team, his mind slowly returning to work, Obito who is _hours_ late, Obito who is _still_ a genin and most certainly not comparable to the _Elite_ Uchiha. Obito is in his team. He will see her everyday again.

Kakashi feels both disappointed and lightheaded all at once.

This is not what he expected and the only thing he manages to say is “Liar, who would believe such a thing?!

 

Training with genin is always frustrating, but training with Obito is worse. His first impression of the girl after so long was that she was _louder_ her body had grown taller –she was taller than him now, not that it _mattered_ \- and with it, it had grown her ability to make sounds at progressively higher decibels. It is pretty much all the ability she has. Kakashi stares in disbelief as Obito jumps away from Rin, trips with her own _feet_ and drops face first on the ground. The fact that she doesn’t seem to have improved since he was in the academy –and how the hell did she manage to graduate- isn’t as alarming as the fact that her performance seems to be getting worse by the day. Not that Kakashi worries about her, but given that he already has to fight for Rin, he’d be better off not having to do it for Obito too. After training Minato –sensei dismisses them and asks Obito to stay; Kakashi doesn’t know what he tells her but it works, next day he still kicks her ass but at least it takes longer.

Later, watching the two girls on his team eating together and laughing, Kakashi notices that they both are sharing Obito’s bento and he can’t help but to feel pissed – _not_ jealous- he is the strongest, already blooded in battle with a quick strategic mind and an already impressive set of techniques yet every time Obito looks at him it does so with something very close to hatred. She even calls him names. Even if he didn’t expect her to fawn like Rin, he at least expected some admiration or gratitude since he’s taking his time to try and show her how a true shinobi is supposed to be. Instead, she runs around, always late to everything, with her emotions so close to the surface one can almost taste them and behaves like there is nothing wrong with the world.

Kakashi fists his hands and stalks away from the smiling girls still wondering why Obito can’t look at him the same way as she looks at Rin.

 

Halfway into Grass territory Minato –sensei gives him command. Kakashi maintains the calm, emotionless face like he’s supposed to but on the inside he’s burning with anticipation. His first command. It almost is enough to quell the disappointment of Obito being her usual immature self and not giving him a present for his graduation into Jounin. Kakashi is confident, for about ten minutes, until Rin gets captured and Obito disobeys his orders. They go separate ways, not much different from every other day. But as he runs to make up for the time he lost –his cheek still stinging from Obito’s punch- he can’t help but replay her words on his head over and over again.

Obito is wrong, that man wasn’t a hero, a hero is someone who puts the village first, Kakashi tells himself as he runs through the forest. They have a mission to complete; _he_ has a mission to complete. Obito can do whatever she wants as always, she can get herself killed for all he cares.

Kakashi stops to a halt, against his better judgement, in the middle of enemy territory because that is a thought he doesn’t want to entertain. Even if she is a loudmouthed awkward mess of a shinobi, she doesn’t deserve to die for that. He ponders his options. He _has_ to finish the mission, but even if his previous assessment is correct and the shinobi from Iwa won’t kill a medic, they don’t have use for Obito. Kakashi turns around and puts all his energy in running, he just hopes he’ll make it on time.

He does, if only barely, by the time he arrives there is an enemy already prepared to kill her. Kakashi slashes him and catches her eyes looking at him in awe; he’s wanted it for so long he cannot react in time. He almost doesn’t feel the slash on his face, but he can most certainly hear Obito screaming his name, her tone full of concern. Kakashi doesn’t have time for it though; he has to stop this invisible enemy before he kills them both. Somehow, Obito beats him to it. Kakashi covers his damaged eye with his hand and he watches at the girl, the dead last and the crybaby ninja that just saved his life. He wants to ask how, but when she turns to look at him, he can see the sharingan bright red and coal black, shining in the middle of her moon pale face.

She has never looked more beautiful than right there with blood on her hands.

 

Kakashi looks at the bloody lump that is Obito with something akin to desperation. For a second, as the cave fell onto them, he thought they were going to die, he didn’t expect her to save his life, he didn’t expect her to be willing to sacrifice for him. The sole thought make him want to cry in anger and happiness at once. Despite Rin’s treatment, Obito had passed a while ago, the trauma, Minato –sensei had said. Kakashi still cannot make himself look at what’s left of her leg.

He holds her a bit tighter making an effort not to faint, the chidori had put a huge strain in his chakra reserves but like hell he’s letting anyone else carry her. Obito’s soft hair tickles against the part of his cheek uncovered due to the cut on his mask, his own eye doesn’t matter again, only Obito does, Obito who just awoke her sharingan and saved all of them, Obito who can’t simply die when she’s finaly managed to become a true shinobi. Midways, Kakashi starts to falter, and much to his shame, Minato –sensei has to steer him before they both fall, he then takes Obito in his arms. Without her warm body against his, Kakashi feels empty. He manages to stay on his feet until they get to the walls of the village, as soon as he sees the big wooden doors he falls face first on the ground, not that he feels the hit, by that time he has already lost consciousness.

Kakashi wakes to the white ceilings and overly clean smell of Konoha’s hospital. He tries to get out of bed but discovers he can’t move his body.

“I told you, you don’t have the chakra reserves to make the chidori properly work, it’s a miracle you didn’t die” a voice informs him from some place to his right, Kakashi tries to turn but he can’t. Minato –sensei has the decency of stepping into his line of vision, Kakashi doesn’t refute him. Soon he will be able, it’s all that matters.

There are flowers on the side of his bed, from Rin he suspects but much to his surprise the girl isn’t here. He prefers it this way. Kakashi wonders for how long has he slept, and then imagines how much Obito will tease him for it. Wait, Obito. He suddenly remembers, the cave, how he managed to turn around and drag her with him, her leg and the raw, scrambled mess of meat it became. Despite the tiredness that wears at his bones, Kakashi jumps to a sitting position and makes the motion to stand. His teacher stops him, and he cannot help but feel even worse, does Minato –sensei being here means Obito has died?

“Obito?” he asks with his heart on his mouth. The blonde’s expression isn’t very reassuring “I don’t know yet, they’re operating her, Rin is assisting. The doctors said her leg has no cure and they are cutting it to prevent the risk of infection and gangrene. Once they finish we’ll know”

Kakashi goes even colder, even as Minato –sensei tucks him in bed –his fear is such he doesn’t protest for being treated like a child- he can only think of Obito, without her leg there is no possibility of being a shinobi, he can’t imagine what that will be like, he can’t imagine to live without being a ninja. After a moment, he falls asleep without noticing, all night he dreams of her. Morning arrives, and with it a doctor that informs them that the operation has been a success. That doesn’t make him feel any better. Obito is alive, but will she look at him now or will she hate him even more for being in one piece? She might even regret saving him.

Kakashi is rolled on a wheelchair to her room, she hasn’t awakened yet. As they enter, he can see her skin usually pale now even paler. Her messy black hair is tied in a bun with surgical thread, her right cheek is covered with gauze and the right side of her body is bandaged from what he can see through the opening of the hospital gown. What draws his eyes though is the empty space next to her left leg; it makes him want to puke. He forces himself to swallow the bile, there is a doctor right there talking about transplanting him a new eye but it doesn’t matter, he cannot tear his gaze away from her.

 

Kakashi gets out of the hospital a week later although he won’t be able to train for a while according to the doctors–not that he’s going to obey them- as he has to get used to his new eye. They say that Obito will need at least a year to recover. After a while he manages to put her out of his mind, he’s a Jounin now, he needs to concentrate in other things and if he thinks of her he won’t be able to. It is not simple though, with Rin insisting they go visit. Surprisingly is Obito who makes it better, she doesn’t hate him, but it is obvious from the first time she doesn’t want them there. From behind the medic nin, Kakashi watches how the candy disappears inside the loose fitting hospital robe when the Uchiha thinks no one is looking.

He doesn’t come back despite Rin nagging him about it until Minato –sensei and Kushina both come to tell him about a party or something in the hospital. He’s not really listening, trying to strengthen his chakra control as he is. But later, when he’s lying down sweaty and exhausted, he remembers what day it is. Kakashi thinks there is nothing much to celebrate but decides to go anyway, partly because of what the rest of his teammates will say if he doesn’t appear and partly because he can’t seem to get over the infatuation. He jogs home, showers and changes into something fresh and more civilian, he doesn’t leave his hitai –ate and mask behind though, so many years wearing them he now feels naked without.

Kakashi discovers that being late doesn’t bother him as much as it did in the past, maybe is just a bit of payback for all those times Obito kept him waiting under the scorching sun and thinks that it is only fair that he doesn’t give her anything. But then he passes a store window and his eyes fixate on the thin black chain on display. As he approaches he can see the small spheres attached at the end. It looks like a necklace but it is in truth a mortal weapon. Kakashi doesn’t doubt, he enters even as part of his mind tell him that she won’t be using it, since she _won’t_ be a shinobi, but still pays for it –girls are supposed to like this kind of thing right?-

He makes the clerk wrap it in a hideous orange paper he’s sure she will also like and marches to the hospital wondering in his head what he should say.

 

Twenty for hours later Kakashi finds himself being chased like a dog by Kiri hunters. A few feet behind is Rin –who still has that amazing ability to get herself caught- freshly rescued after a rather out of character decision. Kakashi guesses that it falls to him to protect her –since he doesn’t want their team to suffer anymore that it already has- he still doesn’t have to like it.

“I’ll distract them” he says, and starts to make out the symbols for a fire jutsu –not his brightest idea given he’s up against water users, but in his defense, he’s at the last of his neurons- and hopes that the girl still has enough chakra to get within range of a Konoha sensor. After, perhaps predictably, his fire does nothing; he lands and turns to fight, first struggling against his own exhaustion to invoke his chidori. He jumps and thrusts using his momentum to stab through them, Rin’s chakra is further and further away and he is relieved even as he keeps on killing. His hand sticky and his arm dripping, the scent of blood like a mist around him. Lightning comes out of his hand as he slashes and doges and slashes again. Until he doesn’t.

Kakashi falls, all his forces abandoning him, he sees the enemies in front of him, approaching slowly, like they want to taste it. At least Rin is safe, he thinks and closes his eyes expecting the kunai; he wonders if his name will be in the memorial, if he has finaly restored the honor to the Hatake name. Kakashi doesn’t feel afraid, only kind of indifferent. A heartbeat, he breathes in and out, blood and sweat mixing in his nostrils under the mask. He waits and waits. He doesn’t feel the stab though, he feels more blood, warm on his face and he opens his eyes to find himself in hell.

Rin is in front of him, an arm, a hand holding a kunai is coming out of her back. Kakashi doesn’t feel the tears that come out and over the blood, _her_ blood. She manages to half turn her head and he can see a smile on her face, a godforsaken _smile._ Why, he wants to ask, to shout at her, why save him, why come back when she was safe. Kakashi gets up in time to catch her as she falls, he then sees the second enemy on the ground, a bunch of senbon sticking out of his vital points. He looks back at Rin ignoring the blatant danger he’s in. He wants to apologize, to tell her how wrong he was, to tell her how good a shinobi she is. Except that she isn’t, her eyes are empty now and she is just a corpse getting cold on his arms.

Kakashi lays her gently into the ground, the damned smile catches his eye again and he rages. He gets up shaking, but not in fear. He feels more than sees the Kiri Nin in front of him. Kakashi jumps with a hoarse howl he didn’t know he was able to produce. Everything comes as a blur, crimson, wet and terrible. The crunch of bones being broken and the screams of anger, of pain and later the pleads for mercy are the only thing he can hear. There is no mercy to be imparted. When his chidori runs out yet again he picks up the swords, the kunai they have scattered around the field and slaughters them with his own weapons.

The moon shines red –as if tainted- over his head when it’s over.

Boneless, Kakashi walks up to her and falls by her side. As he passes out, he tries to comprehend why both Rin and Obito were willing to sacrifice to save his life. Closing his eyes, he wonders what they saw in him to make him worthy.  

 

For the second time in less than a year, Kakashi opens his eyes to the white ceilings and the overly clean smell of Konoha’s hospital. This time he almost wishes he didn’t.

Minato –sensei is sleeping with his head down to his chest on a chair in front of him. Kakashi tries to move but he can’t. He wants to run, to hide and maybe forget about what happened so he won’t have to explain it to anyone. He knows there will be questions, that he’ll most likely be interrogated by T&I, force to revive it again and again. He doesn’t know how long he spends looking at that bleak white ceiling, after a while it doesn’t matter as long as he doesn’t have to close his eyes because the images are engraved on his eyelids.

Minato –sensei rouses and looks up, he doesn’t smile when he sees him awake, his look of infinite pain makes him feel even worse.

After a while, days are numbered by the visits he has –admittedly not many- and even after he gets discharged from the hospital, when all suspicion has been cleaned from his name, but nothing manages to get him out of this apathy. It’s like he’s watching the world through a fogged up window. Not even the funeral feels real. Kakashi picks up Obito from the hospital, she can walk quite well, her recovery is miraculous, Minato –sensei had said, he thinks of offering his arm but the look on her eyes are enough to prevent him. He sees her tears, wants to do something about them, but as he reaches, he realizes he can offer no consolation.

Kakashi looks up; somehow he’s managed to get to his house without even noticing. There is nothing for him there; to be truthful there is nothing for him anywhere. Kakashi wonders if this emptiness, this void, is what _that man_ felt before he put a Danto through his belly. He would do it, he thinks, but he doesn’t want to emulate. 

In the following days, he trains to the point of exhaustion. He becomes better, faster, but the numbness doesn’t abandon him. The nightmares start a month after the service. One night he wakes up in bed, sweaty and frightened seeing blood on his hands and the dead faces of Rin and Obito looking at him, accusing him. Kakashi can’t wash the blood, he can’t erase the guilt that is eating him alive. Minato –sensei offers to talk, Kakashi doesn’t take up on his offer. Every night he wakes with the stench of blood around him, while faces with condemning eyes look at him demanding. He doesn’t tell anyone, he is a shinobi, and a shinobi doesn’t feel, doesn’t cry himself to sleep. A shinobi doesn’t feel guilty after a mission.

“In the face of a mission even the lives of your comrades are disposable. The mission comes always first” he quotes, in the smothering darkness, the sound –cracked and broken- of his own voice startles him. He knows the code by heart, for the first time its mandates don’t make him feel any better and in the corner of his eyes he can _see_ them, dead and disappointed looking back at him and again he asks himself what they saw.

Whatever it was –Kakashi thinks playing with a kunai that is close, close, _close-_ it wasn’t there.

 

ANBU is nice. Kakashi is sure that is not the first thing people think when they reflect on the black ops squad. But it takes things out of his mind, here he can shield away and _not_ break. So yeah, ANBU is nice.

He kills and maims for Konoha, for a good cause, and it isn’t some shadowy character who orders him around, but Minato –sensei who is now Hokage and the Elder’s Council. So it is _fine_. And when he’s feeling especially guilty he can always go to see Rin and talk with someone he knows, won’t tell. Kakashi still sees Obito around, but he doesn’t approach. He can still remember the look on her eyes when they met in the hospital door. The look haunts him, and while involved in one mission after the other it is easy to pretend nothing is wrong, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to withstand it if they are face to face.

Surprisingly enough she keeps on being a shinobi and makes it to Jounin –she soon will have her own nick name ever- but there is no party, no celebration. There hasn’t been any in Kakashi’s life lately and after years of expecting them, of expecting some sort of human contact –even if he has always pretended not to need it- going back to those dark days of demeaning whispers behind his back and mean looks from those he thought his friends is much harder than he thought, Kakashi is grateful for the mask in those moments, for both of them. He is a shinobi, those words have become his mantra in these past months, and he really doesn’t need anything from _anyone._ He just wishes he could stop seeing everywhere that black head that rubs his failure in his face. Kakashi doesn’t have much hope though.

Then Obito, as always, breaks his expectations.

She leaves and he doesn’t have to worry about that anymore. 

With her gone, he falls in some sort of grey existence, one discolored pattern after the other. None of them making sense, none of them even resembling a life as the only connection between them are his missions. He keeps doing those of course, both the ones he volunteers for and the ones he’s ordered to do. He knows he’s taking in more work than he should, but to be honest, he’d rather exhaust himself doing something useful for the village than waste away on his apartment _thinking_. Every time he volunteers he can see the frown on his sensei’s face.

It’s easier than it should to ignore it.

 

Kakashi takes his hand out of his target’s chest and wipes the blood off of it. He readjusts his mask left out of place by his thrust and makes his way back to Konoha. His house looks abandoned when he enters after the debriefing, it is cold and dark, and there is dust everywhere from the months he’s spent away. Kakashi is not in the mood to start cleaning, he barely manages to lift the blinds before collapsing on the couch. The air sparkles around him under the diming light of the evening and he falls asleep ignoring the fact that he’s probably breathing more dust than air right now.

He wakes up some time later coughing, the dark has fully settled. Kakashi gets up and is only his ever alert instincts that prevent him from bumping against the coffee table, he realizes then that he’s barely familiarized with his own house. He should probably spend a couple of days getting used to it again, but instead he can only think about undertaking another mission. The fridge is empty and he settles for food pills hastily swallowed with some tape water. After taking away the dirty covers, Kakashi curls on his bed, used to sleep out in the open, it feels awfully soft like the mattress is swallowing him, even when he lays on his back and looks up, not being able to see the sky makes him feel almost claustrophobic. He’s determined to go to the assignment table in the morning and pick up one that takes him as far from this place as possible.

Sometime close to dawn, Kakashi wakes to the clanging on his window. There is a messenger hawk with what looks a mission scroll tied to his leg. It’s a high priority.

Kakashi showers in three minutes, puts on a clean uniform and barely pauses to put clean underwear on the bag still made from yesterday. He’s out of the door five minutes after receiving his orders. In the end he just spent about ten hours in Konoha. That was an hour too many, he thinks to himself. Whoever this Akatsuki from Amegakure are, he will make sure to thank them for the distraction before finishing them off.

 

Amegakure makes honor to its name; the rain just doesn’t stop falling. Wet in unspeakable places, Kakashi goes over the names of the ones he has to eliminate. There are no pictures attached as they usually are in this kind of mission, but the description of the gear they wear and their estimated position is more than enough, he has done with worse Intel really. Everything is set up, he doesn’t have the information about the other operation, but he doesn’t need it, he only has to know that his objectives will be there soon enough and that they won’t be leaving. He makes quick work of them –clearly not a threat, he thinks deactivating his Raikiri- and continues in the direction the rest are.

The first one is easy, some man with orange hair –orange seems to be the theme here Kakashi thinks kicking the one with the mask- the others rage, he doesn’t mind the screams, used to them as he is. Right now he has a task to complete. He lunges for the redhead; he won’t have time to turn his back. Kakashi blinks, feeling a bit stupid when the mask suddenly appears in front of him; he can’t believe he didn’t see him move. The mask breaks and suddenly the world recovers his color so abruptly it hurts. Familiar chakra swirls and expands overwhelming his senses; this chakra is the only thing that convinces him that this person –obviously not a man too- in front of him is Uchiha Obito. No matter how familiar, the grave face tinted with sorrow and disappointment in front of him, isn’t the one of the girl he used to spar against, in fact it looks so much like the one that keeps appearing on his dreams every night that Kakashi has a hard time believing this is not a nightmare.

Only her words –and even her voice is different now- push him out of his astonishment. Only then does he take in the absurd cloth that covers her –because no matter how much he wants to deny it, it is _her_ \- and realizes that he has probably killed her comrades. “ _Comrades_ ” that word feels dirty when he thinks of them and Obito, all of them conspiring against Konoha –that is the only reason they would send him- Traitor, traitor, traitor, he wants to scream, to yell at her, take her by her shoulders and shake the truth out of her. This is Obito, he has eaten with her, fought with her and trusted her to guard his back –albeit reluctantly- and she can’t be a traitor, but then Kakashi sees her sharingan, redder and more beautiful than the last time he saw it, directed at him and has to surrender. This is not his Obito, the one that he remembers because the one that he remembers would never, _ever_ betray Konoha.

Kakashi jumps into position and calls his Raikiri, he’s going to kill her –this wretched image of his mouthy teammate- and he _will_ make sure, the sweet girl Obito was, is the one remembered.

 

Kakashi pushes forward, looking into her eyes still. That is when he sees them change. The three tomoe on red are suddenly a black pinwheel with three spikes, not only does it start to spin, the world around also seems to do so. Kakashi doesn’t fully understand what’s happening but the next time he opens his eyes, his gaze is greeted by a blue and grey void. He looks around increasingly disturbed; only his training prevents him from going out in full blown panic. After a few probes he realizes there is no way out of here, wherever _here_ is. Kakashi lashes out enraged, his mind jumping to theories as fast as he can make new ones, he doesn’t know what this is, but he knows it has to do with the strange shape in Obito’s eyes. Not even Raikiri can damage the cubes which makes it all the more frustrating. There is no way to know how much time goes by –it seems like a lifetime with all those questions poking around in his mind- but he finally manages to calm down, to shout down the _emotions_ and concentrate in the task at hand. When this technique is over, he needs to be ready, he needs to be ready to kill. Sitting in one blue-grey pillar and looking at the immensity of equally colored cubes, Kakashi prepares his next move, years of working under duress have make him accustomed to unpredictable circumstances. He cannot concentrate though, the events of what could either be a few minutes or days ago replaying nonstop on his mind. He tries to calm down. Then, as abruptly as he was sucked in, he is spit like rubbish and falls on his ass in what seems like a –somehow familiar- forest.

Kakashi scrambles to his feet far less gracefully than usual but already fumbling with his fingers to make the symbols. Obito raises her hand and he retreats to avoid the worst of her attack. But there is no genjutsu or flaming ball aimed at his face, she only speaks, and still looks at him with something so close to pity that it _irks_. Words should be easy to ignore, easy to dismiss, but they manage to carve their path into his heart and make everything more painful than the scorch of a Katon.

“This is the border, you can go back to Konoha and no one will pursue you, but if you come back I will be the one to stop you” Her voice is icy cold, she doesn’t need to threaten, the determination is written on her face. He asks himself why he expected some recognition, why he truly thought there would be some feeling in her when she was confronting him. Right now he doesn’t care about his mission –and isn’t that a novelty- only being able to think, speculate about what could have made her like this. Kakashi wants to ask, he really does, but the words are lost somewhere his brain can’t find them. Falling into a familiar stance doesn’t ease him. Still looking into her eyes –something really stupid to do when your opponent is an Uchiha- he can see, over the bright red on them, his own eyes looking back at him.

He should fight, he _has_ to fight, Kakashi thinks, but for some reason he cannot raise his arms, he cannot control the pulse of his Chakra tinted with something he’s unable to define. He can’t swallow the lump that has taken up residence on his throat either.

So he runs, he turns his back to an enemy –or is it- and leaves. Half an hour later, in the middle of this Fire Country forest, he still wonders why. Maybe he leaves because he’s not sure he would win. Because he is afraid, which is just stupid since this is Obito “Always late” Uchiha. But there is something in her eyes, and it isn’t just the strange sharingan pinwheel, there is something that stirs a part of him Kakashi thought gone, that awakens feelings he thought he had killed long ago.

Maybe he leaves because that something makes him feel ashamed, he could see himself in the eyes of Obito and didn’t like what looked back at him. Out of the three of them –Rin, Obito and himself- Kakashi never expected to be the one to fall. But right there, in this quite forest Kakashi looked at Obito –the traitor, the _enemy_ of Konoha- and couldn’t help to think that she’s not the one who is wrong. Kakashi runs and for the first time in his life abandons a mission halfway through. Jumping from branch to branch, he realizes that he finaly understands his father –who is his father again, and not “that man”- and the pain _burns_.

 

The only thing that saves him after his failure, because he has failed –he, child genius extraordinaire- is Minato –sensei, who takes revenge on his little volunteer stunt by suspending him without pay for a year –he will have to end up eating at his table too- which will help his sadistic of a teacher to keep tabs on him even more. He hasn’t told anyone about Obito’s involvement in Ame, he should since lying on an official report on top of failing on a mission is a very serious crime. Somehow he can’t make himself care. Kakashi wants answers, and he won’t have them if Obito’s dead. Besides, if someone is going to kill her, it’s him.

Suspension is the best thing that has ever happened to him. Not at first of course, at first the world seems even darker. The first days, Kakashi tries to maintain some semblance of normality; he wakes up early, washes, trains, eats, trains more, washes again and sleeps. It is increasingly difficult to do it, to watch the rest of the world moving day after day while he remains static. He manages to keep his spirits for three weeks. Three weeks into his suspension he stops training so often and takes pleasure in laying sprawled on his bed almost every morning, trying not to think in the rubbish his life has turned into and forgetting to eat, because even food makes him feel like shit now. Kakashi’s proud he doesn’t have to go to his sensei’s, and doesn’t even have to deal with him as he barely exits his apartment and when so it’s always at the most inconvenient of hours.

After another week, he stops training altogether and lying starfished in bed becomes a day long activity. Some days even getting up to wash or go to the bathroom is hard. It’s Kushina who one day appears in his room; somehow Kakashi misses the signature of her monstrous chakra –so low he’s fallen apparently- and takes him by the ear to train with her. She comments he is as melodramatic as an Uchiha, and the comparison makes him wince in pain. She doesn’t say anything at this, but there is a light in her eyes that says she understands. She doesn’t, Kakashi thinks sulkily, no one does, not even him. Then, when they finish training –it’s been a while since someone got the best of him- Kushina takes him home and sits him at the table putting one full plate after the other until he’s stuffed like a turkey and can’t even stand. That night, back at his house –because hell, he’s not as helpless as to need them coddling him that much- he realizes he has to stop running. It is hard, everything is nowadays, but being able to simply fall asleep and not be full of fear and hatred and doubt is nice, a welcomed change. He’s going to make things right, Kakashi thinks; he’s going to find out the truth, and he’s not going to fail a mission ever again but next time, he’ll make sure of _everything_. Being a mindless soldier doesn’t work for him, being a cold blooded assassin doesn’t either. As soon as he can convince the Fourth to let him back into work he’s going to try and find the middle ground. In the end it turns out that having so much free time to be able to finally, finally _think_ is exactly what he needed to make up his mind and put his thoughts in order.

After a while, Kakashi starts to go to Minato and Kushina’s house to eat or simply to spend some time here. Every time he appears –through the window to try and give the blond a heart attack just because- he’s received with warm smiles and in Kushina’s case, a whack on the side of the head when he’ not fast enough to dodge –that woman is _fast_ -

Soon enough he’s like some sort of a hybrid between a younger brother and a son –by age closer to the former, but by the way they treat him much more like the latter- and he finds out that the reason why the two of them have been so disgustingly happy as of late is because Kushina is pregnant. Kakashi is overjoyed when they tell him, he really wants to see Minato –sensei suffer through the perks of being a first timer, but mostly, because it means his redheaded wife who now smiles like an angel –which she isn’t _at all_ \- won’t be able to wipe the training ground’s floor with him every morning.

He’s still suspended though.

 

Obito is back in Konoha.

He hasn’t seen her, he isn’t close enough to feel her Chakra, but he can smell a faint scent carried by the wind that can only be hers. Kakashi is tempted to go and find her –he absolutely _does not_ sulk at the fact that he has nothing better to do- but in the last moment he changes his mind. Right now, he doesn’t know what to say to her, whether to confront her or simply to be happy she’s here once again. The last time they didn’t part in the best of ways, and the time before was even worse. Despite knowing patience is his best ally, Kakashi feels himself twitching with anticipation.

He plans though, because –again- he has nothing better to do since he’s been unable so far to convince Minato –sensei to let him return to duty. Kakashi pictures himself in a thousand scenarios and yet all of them end in disaster. He wants to get his explanation and possibly –absolutely- mend things; he just hasn’t the slightest idea of how to do so. The solution – and it really shouldn’t be a surprise- comes from the hand of Kushina, now carrying her small noisy brat, and still managing to look dangerous.

“Talk to her, tell her what you feel” says the redhead nonchalantly as if it is the most obvious thing in the world, which it isn’t. Obito is a possible traitor and his one last teammate, the idea of her being an enemy is as abhorrent as the idea of having to kill her for it. Kakashi doesn’t think he would be able. He is many things, but stupid is not one of them and he realizes he truly loves Obito. Kakashi has gotten over his childish infatuation and all those triple X fantasies he won’t recognize under torture, and somehow landed into something better and at the same time much, much worse. Obito is the one constant in his world, the one thing that makes his life have color. She has been his guide all these years even if he himself didn’t know or chose to ignore it. Kakashi doesn’t know what would do to him if she ends up being a traitor like all signs indicate. He’s going to do it though, follow Kushina’s advice, he’s going to find a private spot and he’s going to get her to talk, then he will either kill her –even if it kills him too- or tell her. Kakashi is determined now, and even if he doesn’t feel at ease, determined is good. 

Later, when he wakes up at night, for the first time in years, it isn’t because of a nightmare, he should remember to drink less before bed though.

 

 

For all that Kakashi plans; it takes him more than a week to find the courage to confront her. The newfound realization that even if she were a traitor he won’t be able to harm her doesn’t help much.

He sees her of course, a purple and white silhouette moving around Konoha making men and women alike look up, Obito has become a beautiful woman, and sometimes is hard to seen in her graceful moves the clumsy, awkward little girl she used to be. As hard as seeing under all those curves and long soft hair, the ruthless killer that bested him. It’s hard, but somehow proper.

Kakashi finaly finds the perfect moment –after days of watching her wander about without destination- and springs into action. He pursues her as she exits the village careful to mask his chakra and jumps as fast as he can trapping Obito against a tree. For a moment, Kakashi loses himself in her heat, it wasn’t his intention to end up so close, but it is not unwelcomed. He sees her surprise, the faint blush on her cheeks and wonders if there is one on his too, Kakashi is grateful for the mask in any case. He asks, it comes out blurted and sharper than he intended, too long he has wondered though and the explanation he deserves is way past its due.

Kakashi hears talk of war, of pain and hurt eating out her insides. With every word, the weight on his heart slowly lifting. But the pain still remains. Knowing she felt the same hurts, because Obito is the one that left him behind, but that’s not fully true is it, she did left her too in all but body, an empty shell. He almost wants to laugh at the irony, how different they started just to end up equally broken. He wants to comfort her for once; he guesses he just doesn’t know how. So Kakashi just pushes against her and takes a moment to inhale her scent, to memorize it, because Obito is here, with him at last. And maybe, this time he can keep her by his side. But just as a precaution he’ll remember the sweet, unfairly inciting smell of her hair, in case he has to track her down sometime in the future.

He pushes away –not quite happy with running again like a coward- if he stays so close to her any longer he’s going to do something stupid.

They are trash, Kakashi thinks, but it is okay if they can be trash together.

 

For the next months, Kakashi makes a habit of appearing everywhere Obito goes by; he makes a sport of popping out in her way and pretend it to be an accident. He doesn’t like the way the rest of the world looks at her though, it’s not demeaning like it was in their childhood, now it might be just a little too appreciative. Obito, oblivious as always, doesn’t seem to notice, which is both endearing and infuriating.

He finally makes it back to work and so does she. Dinner at Minato –sensei’s become a full family affair with the five of them there. Even the memory of Rin he has tried so hard to avoid has caught up to him then and somehow it makes everything feel complete. Kakashi notices after a while the way her black eyes that now seem kinder –more like the eyes she used to have- follow the movements of his hand when he takes the mask off and then puts it back on. The first time he recognizes that look as one of interest his heart skips a beat. Kakashi teases her then, smiling –always under his mask- when she becomes flustered.

Tonight, Kakashi is lounging on the couch further away from the kitchen that now is the epicenter of the Uzumaki activity when the bell rings. He gets up shivering at the feeling of _that_ chakra and runs to the door to find himself looking directly into the very face he was daydreaming about. Kakashi thinks cheesily he doesn’t need any other gift right now. He wants to say something, to say _it_ once and for all, but his act of bravery is interrupted by Naruto who seems to have teleported to their side and is now demanding his present. As they eat, even the not so subtle looks directed at him are enough to take him out of his self-absorption –although he has enough presence of mind to still taunt her- and when they finish, he quickly goes to his spot on the roof to gather his courage.

Obito follows soon after –by that time he has already put away his newly discovered yet dearly loved Icha Icha- looking like something out of a dream under the moonlight making his determination fly away with half his neurons. The silence is awkward and having her so close is making him go crazy. He has been waiting –for far too long- so he tells her, unable to keep that to himself any longer and suddenly finds himself practically top of her, her face soft under his hand and her lips wet and eager under his own. Kakashi lays her down on the roof, her round, delicate hips hot, almost burning under his fingertips and her breasts pressing hard against his chest. He can feel his cock hard as a rock in his pants as their tongues battle.

They separate as if it hurts, it does in a way. Kakashi doesn’t know what to do now, but when their hands entwine it feels right. This time, this time things are going to be the way they are supposed to. This time Kakashi will live up to whatever Obito and Rin saw back then in him.  He sees her smile and corresponds with one of his own and for the first time in many, many years, he doesn’t feel any guilt.

 

For a long time Kakashi has been waiting for the moment Obito would see him, when she would realize that he’s been in love with her since the day he first saw her. Now that the moment has finaly come, he can state quite proudly that the wait has been worth it.

He'll still make her wait to see his face though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it won't take so long with the next one.  
> I want to make it a bit shorter than this, God help me.

**Author's Note:**

> Kakashi not being able to cook is from “Down the Rivers of the Windfall Light” by Blackkat which I encourage all of you to read if you haven’t already. It’s a beautiful story and I totally blame it for this.  
> I am not sure if any other part reminiscences of some other story since I eat ObiKaka, please tell me if that’s the case so I can credit. Anyway it’s not my intention to steal someone else’s plot, so I apologize in advance just in case. 
> 
> About the chapter, as you can see the timeline is slightly altered, for me it was important to make clear that Obito didn't make it unscathed, of course as she didn't "die" and didn't pass the sharingan to Kakashi it seemed logical that she would get the nickname. Again, as she doesn't disappear Kakashi's personality doesn't change in such a radical form. I'm going with the idea that he developed PTSD after Rin's death (hence his behaviour) while Obito, being more mature than her male counterpart coped with it by working and eventually leaving the village.  
> Since I love the Akatsuki, it was an obvious choice to make them appear, of course as you'd seen I changed Obito's involvement but in the end the result was more less the same because I don't think that everything would have turned all right without evil!Obito and Madara, as I say in the tags, the world just sucks even without the super villains.  
> Also, I know that more less by the time I put Obito returning to Konoha the Uchiha Clan Massacre happens but I'm following the idea that with Yondaime alive and without the Kyuubi's attack, there was no reason for the elders to mistrust them and the Uchiha wouldn't risk attacking.  
> The idea of Obito's prosthetic leg having a compartment for shuriken is from Tokyo Ghoul, Juuzou's leg is so awesome I more less copied the idea. About the Mangekyo, in the manga is stated that great emotional pressure is needed to awaken it, you don't necessarily need to kill you're best friend so for Obito, seeing Kakashi turned into a mindless killing machine and killing Yahiko is more than enough.  
> I will soon (I hope) write and upload the next chapter with Kakashi's point of view in wich I'll explain my vision of Rin's death, the eye transplant, AMBU training and the whole account of what happens after Obito pulls him into her Kamui dimenssion. 
> 
> Sorry for taking so long, I hope you liked it and thank you for reading!


End file.
